Raw Meat Roller Skating: Team Canada FUNdraiser Edition Eh!
When: Saturday, November 26, 5 PM to 8 PM
Where: Thunderbird Community Centre, 2311 Cassiar St.
What’s this all aboot then? Well, this week is a bit of a doozy so sit down with your double-double and cast your peepers over this Meaties!
In case you don’t know, we’re just a week away from the Blood & Thunder Roller Derby World Cup and Team Canada is prepping to handout some butt-kicking! But they need some fundraising to help them get there so we at Raw Meat would like to show our support. In this week’s glorious three-hour session we not only have an amazing Team Canada guest star *cough* 8Mean Wheeler and Mack The Mouth *cough cough* but ALL money from the week’s session will be loving handed over to Team Canada‘s fundraising efforts. That’s right this week’s Raw Meat just keeps giving and giving! You get some seriously superstar company and the warm and fuzzy feeling that you’re helping these awesome ladies get to the cup in style and not on the back of a moose. And, as if you needed another reason to attend but, seriously it’s 8Mean Wheeler and Mack The Mouth – I wish I could clone myself so I could absorb 5 times the awesome.
This week’s three-hour session will be $7 but we would like to encourage those of you who can to chip in some extra to do so for Team Canada. If you can’t make it to this week’s session but would like to contribute head on over to Team Canada and donate!
In preparation for Saturday if you’re in doubt about your Canadian-ness here are some ways to check yourself.
You’re Canadian if:
- You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if it’s still raining or there is snow on the ground.
- You know what a toque is and you own one and often wear it.
- You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work
- the next day.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
- You can spot MEC products from a kilometer away, even if the little white tag is hidden.
- You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
- You understand the sentence, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine.
- You drink pop, not soda.
- When abroad, you have a fear that somebody might mistake you for an American so you make a point of deliberately being nice to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You buy new sunglasses every year because you can’t find the old ones after such a long time.
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
- You knew plaid flannel was cool way before Seattle did.
- You see nothing funny about the product “Homo Milk”.
- You dismiss all beers under 5% as “for children and the elderly.”
- You know the French equivalents of “free”, “prize”, and “no sugar added”, thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
- You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
- Someone accidentally stepped on your foot. You apologize.
- You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.
Take off ya Hosers and see you all Saturday!!
What is Raw Meat?
Raw Meat Vancouver is a roller skating/non-contact roller derby drills group for women who want to learn to roller skate, learn roller derby skills, and have fun. We learn stops, falls, proximity skating, hip/arm whips, roller derby strategy, pace lines, agility, fitness, and more. Raw Meat Vancouver is an independent group, and is not affiliated with any roller derby league.
Raw Meat runs from 5-7pm every Saturday, with a 3-hour session (5-8) on the last Saturday of every month. Two-hour sessions are $5, three-hour sessions are $7. This pricing is attendance-dependent.
Who can come?
Women of any skill level are welcome. Beginner skaters, we will help you learn to stop safely, and build your roller skating skills at your own pace. For advanced skaters, we will keep it interesting with skills challenges, roller derby strategy drills, fitness, and fun & games.
What should you bring?
To participate, you will need roller skates (not roller blades); a helmet; wrist, knee and elbow pads, and a mouth guard. The venue also requires that you have white/light toe stops, and put white, non-marking tape over black knee pads. Covering the knee pads with vertical strips of tape works best.
The Rules:
Raw Meat has two simple rules: 1. Be safe. 2. Don’t be an ass-hat. There is zero tolerance for breaking either rule, and you will be asked to leave if you do.
Raw Meat sessions are strictly non-contact. We do not allow leaning, hitting, or overly aggressive skating. We do practice hip/arm whips and skating in close proximity. If you aren’t comfortable grabbing a girl by the hips, derby is not going to be your sport. Perhaps shuffleboard?