Are you prepared to have everything you ever knew about roller skating painfully shredded out of your muscle memory, to be agonizingly replaced, inch by inch, by the proper way to do things? Are you ready to skate, hard, until your entire universe contracts to the searing white-hot pain coming from your quads? Are you ready to be ground down, and then polished up like a diamond? Well, you’ve come to the right place. This week’s lesson is going to be AWESOME! And really, really hard. 🙂

The meat grinder is a total stride/posture/form breakdown that completely reinvents your stride by taking it apart, working on each single move at a time, and putting them back together. It’s exhausting. It’s a solid hour of laps. It’s going to be epic.

Along with our treasured Miss Tiki, our extremely frisky and feral feline guest this week is Twisty Hurtzmore. She is one frisky feline. And, according to Tiki, “she’s also the best coach at basics breakdown I’ve ever met. And I have worked with every single person in our league plus outside coaches. She beats them all.” Tiki says if we aren’t all on our best behavior, they will grind us even harder. I don’t know if that’s a threat or a dare.

Please come 15 minutes early for off-skates cardio warmup. Miss Tiki is going to make you sweat with some explosive plyo. 3…2…1…Bam!

Who Can Come to a Raw Meat Meaty Session:

Raw Meat Meaty Sessions are Saturdays from 10 to Noon at the Royal City Curling Club, 75 East 6th, in New Westminster. These sessions have skill requirements. You can only skate at a Meaty session if you have passed the Raw Meat Basic Skills test, or if you are a current skater or on-skate referee with the TCRG.

If you are new to Raw Meat Roller Skating, please attend our sessions on Saturdays from 5-7 PM at Thunderbird Community Centre, 2311 Cassiar St. If we are not familiar with your skating, you will not be allowed to skate at a Raw Meat Meaty session.

The Rules:

Everyone at a Raw Meat Meaty session must sign a waiver saying that they accept the risks of roller skating. No waiver, no skating.

All skaters must abide by our strict non-contact rule. We do not allow hitting, pushing or overly aggressive skating. Any skater engaging in contact will be asked to leave immediately. We do allow hip/arm whips, and safe touching of teammates. (If you aren’t comfortable grabbing people, you should probably take up badminton instead!)

All skaters must wear full safety gear (knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, helmets AND mouth guards) while skating. The floor at the Curling Club is very hard, and you must keep your gear on while you are on the skating floor.

We have two simple rules at Raw Meat: 1. Don’t be an Ass-Hat. 2. Be Safe. There is zero tolerance for breaking these rules.

Getting There:

The Royal City Curling Club is on numerous bus routes. If you are driving, there is plenty of free parking. If you can give someone else a ride, please do so! Post in the comments to arrange rides (and those getting a ride, don’t forget to chip in for gas).

See You All Saturday!