Meatinatrix’s Award-Winning Lamb Stew:

Ingredients:

1. Eager skaters, 20 or so, to taste

2. Helmet, 1

3. Wrist, elbow and knee pads, 2 each

4. Mouthguard, 1

5. Roller skates, 2

6. Sweat, several buckets as needed

7. Meatinatrix

8. Vomit (optional)

Method:

1. Pre-heat gym to 23 C.

1. Combine all ingredients in gym.

2. Shake thoroughly with stops, falls, pacing lines, weaving, pack work, games, and a few blocker drills.

3. Add fitness drills as needed to thoroughly tenderize the meat.

4. Repeat until awesome.

The Basics:

Join Raw Meat Vancouver on July 23 from 5 to 7 at Thunderbird Community Centre, 2311 Cassiar St. Vancouver. Learn roller skating and roller derby drills in a fun, non-contact atmosphere.

At our Lamb sessions, all levels of roller skater are welcome. This is the lesson to come to if you want to practice your roller skating skills. We will teach you all the fundamentals to skate safe and build your skill level in a fun, no-pressure, non-contact environment. Turning you into a bad ass is our specialty. If you are already a bad ass, you have found the right place. We like bad asses, but we don’t allow ass hats. It’s an important distinction.

Raw Meat Lamb sessions run for two hours (5 -7pm) every Saturday, with a special three hour edition (5 – 8pm) at the end of each month.

This session will be $5 and 2 hours. Fees are subject to change and are attendance dependent.

Who Can Come to a Raw Meat Lamb Session:

Anyone who isn’t an Ass Hat and wants to skate with some great people.

Raw Meat Lamb Sessions have no skating skills requirements. As long as you have all the correct gear (Quad skates, Helmet, Knee Pads, Wrist guards, Elbow Guards and a Mouth Guard) you are welcome to attend and skate with us. It is also a requirement of our venue that we use white or light toe stoppers and cover your knee and elbow pads with white or light hockey tape to avoid marking the flooring. No gear, No tape, No skate.

Don’t be afraid to attend these sessions if you are a complete beginner. We will teach you everything you need to know. On the same token, if you are an advanced skater, come on out! We’ll keep you hopping with our evil floor worms. Want to know more? You’ll just have to show up!.

The Rules:

We have two simple rules at Raw Meat: 1. Don’t be an Ass-Hat. 2. Be Safe. There is zero-tolerance for breaking these rules.

We operate in a strictly non-contact environment – no hitting, pushing or overly aggressive skating. But we will cover drills that involve safe touching of teammates and hip/arm whips. If you’re not ok with touching people, derby may not be the sport for you, but you won’t have to worry about getting shoulder checked with us.